mammon

Last night at church, they were talking about how when you are holding onto your money (I don't mean this in a prosperity gospel way)and not trusting that God will take care of you is unbelief. I know I talk about money a lot, but for us, it's been a big thing to trust God, and realize what you actually need, and don't need. Granted you need it for a lot of things, and it's really hard to move forward with projects without supplies. As an example, my husband is working on his portfolio for film school, he needs to make copies of his projects, can't pay for them without money. Not a need (like we won't die or anything), but it's something that you can't exactly do.

We aren't rich by any means, we're both looking for more hours, or different jobs, but that's to pay off debts, not to afford a certain lifestyle. Big difference. But compared to a lot of people, we have so much.

Headnoise M P G

We got some help with our bills finally. What usually happens with us is we will be flat broke for a long, long time, and we will have no idea if we are going to make it. Then (at the eleventh hour it seems sometimes) God will come through, and we will be fine. I think He does that to make us trust him. If everything was perfect all the time (maybe not perfect exactly) than we would have no reason to turn to God. That being said, I know that my husband and I have a lot to be thankful for. We have more than most of the worlds population, and we have a good relationship with each other. Personally, I'd rather have my husband than be rich.

December happenings

http://www.etsy.com/listing/88608513/silver-ruffle-bib-necklace
Added a new item to my shop.

Also enjoying some Christmas music courtesy of Raw Rock Militia.
http://rawrockmilitia.bandcamp.com
Some friends of mine have added tracks as well, so you should definitely check it out and download it

Plumb also has some free Christmas music as well. She has a beautiful voice, and I've been a fan of hers for a long time http://plumbinfo.com

Feeling a bit under the weather today, and I have been going through a lot of financial stress (as always) so prayers would be appreciated.

Titus 1

Titus 1:15, 16  To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him.

"Some people see good all around them, while others see nothing but evil. What is the difference? Our souls become filters through which we perceive good and evil. The pure learn to see goodness and purity even in this evil world. But the corrupt and unbelieving find evil in everything because their minds and hearts color over even the good."

This TOTALLY got me this morning. I try to be a positive person (though there are times when it's perfectly alright to be sad or angry), look for the good in people, nature, etc. I've met a lot of people who it seems like no matter what is going on, they complain. And I've also met a lot of people who claim to have the 'joy of the Lord,' yet they are totally lifeless, and only see what's wrong with the world.

God make me someone who sees the beauty in every situation, no matter how difficult. And don't let me give up on someone just because it seems like nothing is happening.

december update

Today we are going to watch my sisters perform. One of them is singing, and the other is a dancer in a play called "How Christmas Saved the Grinch." Not exactly sure what the story is, but I saw the stage yesterday, and it was filled with little Who-houses, and crazy lights.

Lately, I've been trying to finish up some items for my etsy store: http://etsy.com/thedullmirror
My problem isn't procrastination, I have a habit of starting something, and then almost finishing it, then starting something else. It's ridiculous. Also, I am pretty bad at posting pictures (to Facebook, tumblr, anything)

film school

Today my husband and I are going on a tour of the film school he wants to go to. This has been a dream of his since I've known him (6 years), and hopefully, prayerfully it will happen.

http://www.compassfilmacadamy.com

I really want him to follow his dreams, and make things happen. Personally, I'm proud of him. He's the first in his family to graduate from high school, he works super hard at his job, and he is always trying to be inspired. We watch movie documentaries all the time (me mostly for the makeup ie: monster, blood, Jim Henson-esque stuff), and he interns at our church doing sound, lighting, and graphics. And personally I feel like God wants him to do this (otherwise why would He put the desire in Levi's heart, and open all these doors?)

where do I go from here?

Trying to find your identity apart from what you do can be a really weird thing. Our culture puts A LOT of emphasis on your job (which is really interesting considering lots of people are out of work), if you have a degree in something, if you are working in the field you went to school for. Even at interviews, I've been asked "Why aren't you working in your field?" Uh, you tell me. But I've been to TONS of interviews, put out applications, etc. It's ridiculous. And if people treat you like "well, you must have done something to not get the job." I don't know what, but I'm trying. And I'm trying not to take things personally.

I lost my job about a month ago (no, really, it's ok, it was a horrible job)so I've been home a lot more. I have a lot more time to reflect, read my bible, spend with my husband and focus on some other things I enjoy doing (not just hair)

I'm really thankful for my husband, he knows I've been putting out resumes, and trying my best. He's not pressuring me, and he understood the situation at my job. I can't say the same for some of my friends. I know that this life is temporary, and instead of being sad, and wasting time, I am going to try to use this time for something good.

now I'm contemplating what exactly I REALLY want to do. I started working for a salon a few months ago, and I thought it was going to be very different than how it was.

I was promised:
1. To be working alongside an older stylist. This happened for the first 2 weeks. Then we were never scheduled together.

2. That I would learn new things. (see above)

3. I would be paid 50% commission once I reached $500. What they never told me was that I had to be making $500 a week, not altogether. I made 40%.

4. That we could market ourselves, and share ideas. Anytime I had an idea for bringing people in (I'm talking free advertising), I was ignored. But I couldn't do anything without the owners permission.

5. We could only listen to ONE cd. ONE. The whole day, every single day.

I never got paid on time, I know of at least one occasion where my tips were kept from me (I confronted my boss, but she shrugged it off), the owner was very rude, etc.

I am going back to chair rental. More flexible, the shop is super sweet, the girl I rent from is very kind, wear what you want.

Risk taking

This past week, I quit my 2nd job working at Subway. Yes...it's less money, but my reasons for doing this are: 1. Being home more, and being able to cook actual food instead of eating on the go all the time. 2. Being less tired (even if I work the same amount of hours at the salon, the pace is a lot different and I don't feel exhausted) 3. It's very difficult to build a clientele when you don't really look put together 4. building my etsy store. I have a lot of pieces I haven't even finished or posted because I haven't had the time

I'm scared a little bit because I only get paid 40% commission at the salon depending on what services I do, so some days I make a lot, and other days I hardly make anything. I feel like this is something God is telling me to do for the sake of my husband as well. He works a LOT (50 hours a week, sometimes more), sometimes we would work opposite shifts and not even see each other. But I know we can make it. We made do all of last year, and we are going to be fine.

New Year's Projects

(And no, for you old school Tooth and Nail fans, I'm not refering to the Further Seems Forever song)

This year, I'm opting to

1. Write more, and not write to please everyone.

2. Learn the cable stitch, and other stitches for knitting

3. Learn to drive (this is a huge one)
4. Get better at crocheting

5. Take sewing classes, and get more familliar with my sewing machine

6. work on my etsy site (the graphic design aspect, and posting more projects)

7. get a job at a salon, and learn ALOT more about hair

9. Actually finish projects that I start
10. Get out of debt. Or at least make a payment a week. (come on tax refund)

11. Take more pictures

12. excercising more and eating a bit healthier

13. decorating and organizing my apartment better

Things I did in 2010:
1. Went to Kalamazoo  a few times

2. Met some super amazing and lovely people from RRM

3. Got 2 tattoos (1st EVER and an amazing full color 2nd one)

4. Got my cosmetology license

5. Won something huge that I wasn't counting on

6. Fell in love with an adorable Siamese kitty
7. Had lots of ups and downs, but still drew closer to God, and to my husband.