here we go again....

The Rocket Summer-Hills and Valleys

Friday my husband got the dreaded phone call that his assignment is up at work, instead of the phone call "Hey, you've worked for us and we've decided to hire you on. By the way, you get insurance and a pay raise."

But....I still have my job. And we are still going to Oh Sleeper/Haste the Day on Friday (got my tickets a while ago). Plus I made the appointment (the day before we go the fated call) with Chuck Oliver to get my bicep piece on my left arm. I already have the money, and we have more than enough to pay our bills. We made it for 8 months on just unemployment money.


"Therefore, I tell you, don't be anxious for your life: what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food, and the body more than clothing? See the birds of the sky, that they don't sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns. Your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you of much more value than they?"-Matthew 6:25

10 sweet things

1. New HM Magazine (with Under0ath on the cover)

2. Sanrio Watches at McDonalds

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/mission/features/23651-christmas-charity-isnt-the-answer
3. Thought-provoking article in Relevent Magazine

http://blog.a-common-thread.com/2009/10/knit-pattern-moss-stitch-bow-headband.html
4.easy, adorable bow headband

5. Knitting (knitting needles can be found on etsy site DesignsbyTami(also, doesn't the yarn look like cotton candy?)

6. Need I say more?

7. www.etsy.com

I have an etsy site myself, and many of my friends do as well. If you aren't familiar, go check it out.

http://www.behindthechair.com/onlinecat/

8. LOVE the haircolor of the girl on the cover

9. KONYARA, the new Miyazaki character. He's a kitten with a straw hat

10. Mini Moose from Invader Zim (wish that show was still on) as Rudolph

10 Things I love Sunday

I'm going to write more, but all of my posts aren't going to be super deep, or spiritual. I have deep thoughts at times, but sometimes (especially because I'm working full-time now) it's tiring to post all of them. Plus I love art, and crafting, and lots of pictures.

Here are 10 things I love:
10. God's love never wavers
9. My husband (plus he drives me everywhere for now. I am still working on my driver's license)
8. My kitty even though she can be a stinker
7. My job (Subway, eat fresh ya'll)
6. The Hello kitty watches are back at McDonalds. I LOVE Hello Kitty
5. This painting by Eric Samuel Timmhttp://www.noustore.com/Forgiven_Poster_Print_p/pr%20forgiven.htm
4. New Showbread came out last week, on Come and Live for FREE Download
3. days without deppression
2. my favorite clothes
1.paying off debts

a flicker of hope.

Today we stayed home from church again, because of our truck. We normally go every week, but seeing as we don't have a way to get there.... It's kind of nice to just stay home, and not have to go somewhere.

I opened an etsy store, and I haven't sold anything so far. But I want to get the appearance of the store (like the banners, and profile picture) going first, and then list more things. Unfortunately, I don't have any batteries for my camera (just found this out), and my mini sewing machine, so that sets me back a little bit. But in the mean time, I will just work on the crochet projects, and things I can sew by hand.

Also, I might have a job lined up for me at Subway, which would help us out financially SO much. We've had so many car issues, and I have a debt from school that I would love to just take care of. I have less than $2,000 left now, and it would just be nice not to have that hanging over my head. We did the Dave Ramsey thing for a while (except when my husband lost his job, we just got everything deferred so we could eat), and while I agree with him, some of the things are SO hard to do when you hardly make any money. But now we might be able to give to others, and further God's kingdom.

I feel like we're going to get out of this pit, spiritually, emotionally, and maybe financially. We made it out alive.

Holding pattern/introvert Christian

So...since I last wrote, I have

1. Gotten a job at a salon, and lost it, due to the fact I don't have a huge clientele, and it was commission only. They also said I was not outgoing enough for them (?)

2. Attempted to get my driver's license (yes folks, I still don't have it) and every single time, I kid you not, either I found out I have no money to pay for the license, or our vehicle breaks down.

And as I'm applying for jobs in my line of work, I keep getting this nagging feeling like maybe hair is not what I'm supposed to do. I mean, everyone is having somewhat of a post-grad slump in this country, and having a hard time finding a job, but I don't know if this is really my passion.

Don't get me wrong, I like doing hair, but I don't like the falseness of the whole industry, and the cattiness. I like taking care of people, and meeting people, but I push myself, and push myself to 'get out there' and be more outgoing, but I feel like I can't do it sometimes. I'm not saying to dump all your issues on your client, but I can. not. be. fake.

And I'm seriously praying about what to do now. I'm not saying that taking care of yourself is wrong, or shallow, or that fashion and a preference with how you look is bad. But I won't treat someone bad because of their income, or how someone might perceive them.

I'm definitely a deep thinker, and a private person. I think people think that people with tattoos (I'm getting more soon) and facial piercings are really extroverted, but not me. If I feel comfortable with someone, and 'safe' then I open up a lot. But over Facebook? Not really. I don't want all of my contacts knowing my business, and sometimes I just want to vent, and get it over with, not have my whole life up for speculation.

I went to a church for a few years that I would describe "Pentecostals on steroids." THAT is how open everyone was with their emotions, and for a while, I didn't really notice anything, but over time I started to feel like something was wrong with me. Don't get me wrong, community is extremely valuable, but if someone doesn't really know you, they might assume a lot about you. And your walk with God. My husband and I left for multiple reasons, but this was one of them. Feeling like if you weren't whooping for joy (not that I don't have joy) and displaying it in front of everyone, that they were judging you.

And I feel like often in churches today, there is a huge catering towards people who are extroverted, but for those who are introverted (not hermits, or anti-social), they feel left out. I'm not sure if Jesus was one or the other, but I know He needed time to be alone, and be with God.

I wish I was more confident, but only God can really give that to me.

'Beauty lies in poverty.'-Bibi Russel

Good God, when does it end?

We are the richest, most narcissistic generation in the history of America (can't speak for other countries). We complain about having to go to work, and our jobs for the most part are far easier than what people in other countries do. I've been reading this book called "Where am I wearing?" and it's about the people who make our clothes here in America.

Most make around $7.50 a week. Not an hour. A week.
They are not supporting only themselves, but oftentimes their parents, grandparents, and siblings. And yet, they are grateful for the small things in life. Whilst we sit here in our huge houses, with our 1 or 2 child families for the sake of "giving them a better life." Not that there's anything wrong with smaller families, but don't have one for the sake of giving them whatever the heck they want.

I live in a pretty nice house. Yes, most of the things are from Goodwill, dumpster diving, the Really Really Free Market, overstock places, and people I know. But you can fix things, you can repaint them, you can sharpen knives instead of buying a new set, you can remake clothes, etc.

My point is, most people don't want to do that. There is a stigma placed on used items, like 'sloppy seconds.' Honestly, most of the time people throw things out because they get something brand new. And there it goes. We would rather get a brand new car, and force ourselves to work extra hours, than buy a used one that may be just fine.

I have nothing against buying brand new, but many times, we could just make do with what we already have. We are SOOO disconnected from the poor, the beggar, the broken.

And yes, I have things I want to buy, I have tattoos I'd like to get. Will I get them eventually? I don't know, because it seems like I either have to use the money for something else, or I don't have it. Maybe my heart needs to change. Sadly most of the time I think of myself rather than someone else.

Last night I went to Rossman house of prayer, and one of my friends was saying how most of the time, the homeless, or even just the average joes were far more open to prayer, or even just to talk than the businessman, or the soccermom in her SUV when going downtown. He said most of the time, the businessman would say something like "Oh, he needs it more than I do." and yeah, I'm not going to disagree that someone with 'nothing' (no house, food, they may need medical care, etc.) probably needs it for their basic needs, but most of the time, the business man may be sooo far away from God, he doesn't see his need. He thinks because he is comfortable, and has many things, that he is safe somehow.

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also-Matthew 6:21

Future house

So for now, I am living in an apartment. It's fine for now, but there are times when I feel stir-crazy (like in the dead of winter), and I want to have a house of my own. Plus, I can't have a cat here, and my parents are taking care of her. Plus, I don't want to feel stressed out like if we did have a baby, we wouldn't have any space really. Someday, I want to live in a house with these features:

1. At least 2 bedrooms (even if we didn't have kids at the time, it'd be nice in case someone needed a place to stay)

2. A yard (that's somewhat private) so I can hang out laundry, actually sit outside without feeling like I'm a bug under a glass

3. Space to have people over...so more than 2 people can sit down at once

4. I want to have a sink, and a chair so I can do haircuts *comfortably* in my house.

5. I LOVE old farmhouses, it would be so sweet to live in one.