Today we stayed home from church again, because of our truck. We normally go every week, but seeing as we don't have a way to get there.... It's kind of nice to just stay home, and not have to go somewhere.
I opened an etsy store, and I haven't sold anything so far. But I want to get the appearance of the store (like the banners, and profile picture) going first, and then list more things. Unfortunately, I don't have any batteries for my camera (just found this out), and my mini sewing machine, so that sets me back a little bit. But in the mean time, I will just work on the crochet projects, and things I can sew by hand.
Also, I might have a job lined up for me at Subway, which would help us out financially SO much. We've had so many car issues, and I have a debt from school that I would love to just take care of. I have less than $2,000 left now, and it would just be nice not to have that hanging over my head. We did the Dave Ramsey thing for a while (except when my husband lost his job, we just got everything deferred so we could eat), and while I agree with him, some of the things are SO hard to do when you hardly make any money. But now we might be able to give to others, and further God's kingdom.
I feel like we're going to get out of this pit, spiritually, emotionally, and maybe financially. We made it out alive.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Holding pattern/introvert Christian
So...since I last wrote, I have
1. Gotten a job at a salon, and lost it, due to the fact I don't have a huge clientele, and it was commission only. They also said I was not outgoing enough for them (?)
2. Attempted to get my driver's license (yes folks, I still don't have it) and every single time, I kid you not, either I found out I have no money to pay for the license, or our vehicle breaks down.
And as I'm applying for jobs in my line of work, I keep getting this nagging feeling like maybe hair is not what I'm supposed to do. I mean, everyone is having somewhat of a post-grad slump in this country, and having a hard time finding a job, but I don't know if this is really my passion.
Don't get me wrong, I like doing hair, but I don't like the falseness of the whole industry, and the cattiness. I like taking care of people, and meeting people, but I push myself, and push myself to 'get out there' and be more outgoing, but I feel like I can't do it sometimes. I'm not saying to dump all your issues on your client, but I can. not. be. fake.
And I'm seriously praying about what to do now. I'm not saying that taking care of yourself is wrong, or shallow, or that fashion and a preference with how you look is bad. But I won't treat someone bad because of their income, or how someone might perceive them.
I'm definitely a deep thinker, and a private person. I think people think that people with tattoos (I'm getting more soon) and facial piercings are really extroverted, but not me. If I feel comfortable with someone, and 'safe' then I open up a lot. But over Facebook? Not really. I don't want all of my contacts knowing my business, and sometimes I just want to vent, and get it over with, not have my whole life up for speculation.
I went to a church for a few years that I would describe "Pentecostals on steroids." THAT is how open everyone was with their emotions, and for a while, I didn't really notice anything, but over time I started to feel like something was wrong with me. Don't get me wrong, community is extremely valuable, but if someone doesn't really know you, they might assume a lot about you. And your walk with God. My husband and I left for multiple reasons, but this was one of them. Feeling like if you weren't whooping for joy (not that I don't have joy) and displaying it in front of everyone, that they were judging you.
And I feel like often in churches today, there is a huge catering towards people who are extroverted, but for those who are introverted (not hermits, or anti-social), they feel left out. I'm not sure if Jesus was one or the other, but I know He needed time to be alone, and be with God.
I wish I was more confident, but only God can really give that to me.
1. Gotten a job at a salon, and lost it, due to the fact I don't have a huge clientele, and it was commission only. They also said I was not outgoing enough for them (?)
2. Attempted to get my driver's license (yes folks, I still don't have it) and every single time, I kid you not, either I found out I have no money to pay for the license, or our vehicle breaks down.
And as I'm applying for jobs in my line of work, I keep getting this nagging feeling like maybe hair is not what I'm supposed to do. I mean, everyone is having somewhat of a post-grad slump in this country, and having a hard time finding a job, but I don't know if this is really my passion.
Don't get me wrong, I like doing hair, but I don't like the falseness of the whole industry, and the cattiness. I like taking care of people, and meeting people, but I push myself, and push myself to 'get out there' and be more outgoing, but I feel like I can't do it sometimes. I'm not saying to dump all your issues on your client, but I can. not. be. fake.
And I'm seriously praying about what to do now. I'm not saying that taking care of yourself is wrong, or shallow, or that fashion and a preference with how you look is bad. But I won't treat someone bad because of their income, or how someone might perceive them.
I'm definitely a deep thinker, and a private person. I think people think that people with tattoos (I'm getting more soon) and facial piercings are really extroverted, but not me. If I feel comfortable with someone, and 'safe' then I open up a lot. But over Facebook? Not really. I don't want all of my contacts knowing my business, and sometimes I just want to vent, and get it over with, not have my whole life up for speculation.
I went to a church for a few years that I would describe "Pentecostals on steroids." THAT is how open everyone was with their emotions, and for a while, I didn't really notice anything, but over time I started to feel like something was wrong with me. Don't get me wrong, community is extremely valuable, but if someone doesn't really know you, they might assume a lot about you. And your walk with God. My husband and I left for multiple reasons, but this was one of them. Feeling like if you weren't whooping for joy (not that I don't have joy) and displaying it in front of everyone, that they were judging you.
And I feel like often in churches today, there is a huge catering towards people who are extroverted, but for those who are introverted (not hermits, or anti-social), they feel left out. I'm not sure if Jesus was one or the other, but I know He needed time to be alone, and be with God.
I wish I was more confident, but only God can really give that to me.
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